FEP11 Family and the Holidays

Not everyone has warm and easy holiday gatherings. Lots of us have challenging family relationships, stressful travel, and uncomfortable gatherings ahead. We’d like to help smooth your way with Flower Essences so you can be your best self even if you are having all your buttons pushed.

Flower Essences discussed during the show:

Resources and Suggestions:

Matthew Wood‘s book The Book of Herbal Wisdom

8 Ways to Use Pine Needles (make pine needle tea) – The Herbal Academy

Show Transcript

Kathleen Aspenns: [00:00:42] Hi, I’m Kathleen Aspenns, and Rochana and I today are going be talking about getting ready for the holidays. Thanksgiving is nearing on us and a lot of us are going to be traveling and spending some time with our families. And we thought that we’d bring up some of the topics that are likely to come up when we spend time with our families. There’s oftentimes an awful lot of history going on there and a lot of button pushing and we can fall back into patterns. Thank goodness we have flower essences to help us with these things because boy, families, they’re a bit fraught, aren’t they, Ro? [00:01:17][35.4]

Rochana Felde: [00:01:19] Absolutely. We get to have all our buttons pushed and be on the spot for being on our best behavior at the same time. Right?  [00:01:30][10.5]

Kathleen Aspenns: [00:01:31] The button pushing thing is so funny because it’s it’s always so amazing how, especially if we don’t spend a lot of time with our family on a regular basis, we can forget how we revert back to these old patterns of being. And all of a sudden it’s been ages since that particular button got pushed in. Hello, there it goes again. And it’s just kind of amusing because, well, you know, our family, they did install our buttons after all. [00:01:54][23.5]

Rochana Felde: [00:01:54] Yeah, it catches me by surprise sometimes. It’s so funny. You know, we think, those of us on the self-help and self healing paths, you know, we’ve done a lot of work a lot of times in this area, especially, we’ve been working with trauma and healing the past. And, you know, it surprises me sometimes how easy it is to get triggered and right back into the into childhood when we’re in certain circumstances, especially during the holidays. [00:02:32][37.4]

Kathleen Aspenns: [00:02:33] No kidding. There’s nothing like all of a sudden being tossed in with your family or, you know, extended family or close nuclear family. And all of a sudden you start acting like a kid again. What is up with that? [00:02:45][11.8]

Rochana Felde: [00:02:46] Yeah, and especially with siblings. I mean, I am the oldest of six and we have quite large family gatherings. And it’s great. You know, we have great relationships. But, you know, the old patterns easily come into play as well. [00:03:01][15.8]

Kathleen Aspenns: [00:03:01] It sure is a chance to check in with your growth and to sort of see places that maybe you’ve missed and start to recognize. Oh, there it is. Look at me doing that again. [00:03:13][11.3]

Rochana Felde: [00:03:14] Yeah, it’s great. It is a good way to kind of step back and observe yourself if you can. And you just really can see how these things evolved in our psyches. And when you step back and you’re able to have that perspective. But how do we maintain and how do we get there? How do we get to that, having that perspective, if we’re ourselves stressed from the holidays, getting together, making it happen during at a busy time, and a lot of times there’s all sorts of hoops we have to jump through to get those family gatherings together. And there’s so much work to do. You know, if it’s getting together for Thanksgiving or something where there’s a lot of food to cook and, you know, it’s a lot to plan. And then we have the season getting colder and maybe our immune system isn’t up to par. So there’s a lot of things that hit us during the winter season and when the holidays start to happen and tensions are definitely high. If we’re at jobs and working that we’re trying to get deadlines done in order to go on vacation. You know, it’s all coming together. It’s very stressful. And then we’re put in to the dinner table situation or whatever the gathering is with with all of our family. And some of us may not have the same views, political, religious and that we’re dealing with food and there might be disagreements about food beliefs. That happens in my family. And so it gets interesting. And flower essences are some of the things that I know you and I both turned to to deal with with these scenarios. So what are some of the things that you like to work with? [00:05:14][120.2]

Kathleen Aspenns: [00:05:16] Oh, my gosh. Yes. You’ve brought up so many topics like… Oh, yes, and that one, too. I think that one of the first things to think about whenever you’re traveling or whenever you’re kind of out of your routine, definitely keep some sort of a rescue or crisis formula on hand. Keep it handy because, like we’re saying, nothing brings out, you know, your not your best self as exhaustion and travel and being compressed into a little tube or driving for long distances and then doing a lot of work or something like that in order to get ready for everything. So having a bottle of rescue remedy, having Soul Support, I think it’s really useful. Any of the rescue type of crisis formulas are really worthwhile to have handy. [00:06:10][54.1]

Kathleen Aspenns: [00:06:11] And then we can get into some of the things that are maybe more specific. There’s that saying about, you know, all all happy families are the same and all dysfunctional families are different in different ways. So it’s sort of hard to say, “OK. This is the flower essence for challenging family stuff.” Because everyone has something different. However, Holly is always a good starting point. That’s one of the first ones I think of any time you’re having to interact with other people because Holly helps you connect to your heart and to the love you have for somebody else, past the frustration that you might have on the personality level. So you can recognize, “OK. I really love this person. Even if their political views might not be mine or whatever conflicts we may have, we can still connect to sort of a higher sense of love of this. This person is important to me in some way and I’m going to try to find a bridging ground.” Holly is also really great for the sibling rivalry that will pop up sometimes around attention or this parent or this sibling is spending more time with this person and I’m feeling left out. You know, Holly, it’s a it’s a polychrest remedy, meaning it it has a broad range of uses. So I think Holly is a good starting point. [00:07:43][91.4]

Rochana Felde: [00:07:43] I like that a lot. And I was just thinking how interesting it is that Holly is used for decorations for holiday decoration. [00:07:51][7.9]

Kathleen Aspenns: [00:07:54] It came in the house for a reason, helping out and also Pine. We could talk about Pine too, because that’s clearly another holiday-centric item. [00:08:03][9.6]

Rochana Felde: [00:08:05] You know, the pine trees and pine boughs on the mantel places. And Pine essence, you know, really helping those feelings of guilt or not feeling good enough. And then also just the support. I mean, I look at the pine tree as a tree that offers so much to humanity. I mean, we build our, you know, structures with it, houses and all sorts of things with the wood and the needles are full of vitamin C for our immunity. You can make pine needle tea. You can do that any time of the year. It’s an evergreen. And so it has that real strengthening aspect, I think, and that feeling of of being supported. I like to look at it that way, along with the more traditional, you know, Bach ways of using it. But I just I love the support that I feel from it, when I’m outside working with that tree. [00:09:06][61.6]

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FEP10 Pets

November 6, 2019