FEP70 Getting Triggered! Strategies for Coping and Increasing Resilience
Show Notes:
In this episode, Kathleen and Rochana navigate the nervous system responses when triggered or emotionally activated. How do we recognize when it’s happening and what are some things we can do immediately to cope? How can we work with these deeply embedded reactions that at minimum feel uncomfortable but often are painful and uncontrollable? We discuss the importance of releasing emotion from the body and using flower essences to assist in creating a safe container for this work, as we strive to increase resilience and regain equilibrium in our lives.
Audio:
Video:
Flower Essences discussed during the show:
- Rescue Remedy AKA Five Flower Formula – Healing Herbs
- Clematis – Bach or Healing Herbs
- Cherry Plum – Bach or Healing Herbs
- Post Trauma Stabilizer – FES
- Angelica – FES
- Black Tourmaline – Alaskan Essences
- Redwood – FES
Resources:
Lissa Rankin – quote from her recent blog post How Do We Stop Projecting & Start Owning Our Mistakes
Peter Levine, book Awakening the Tiger: Healing Trauma
The School for Flower Essence Studies: Flower Essence Practitioner Training
Show Transcript
Welcome back, flower friends. Today we’re going to talk about a topic that could be a little triggering. So we’ve been experiencing this and we’ve been watching this in the world lately how a lot of people’s reactions have been pretty hot. You don’t have to go too far to look at the news or just interpersonal reactions. And there’s a lot of hot, agitated interactions happening. And we thought this would be a really good opportunity to talk about this process of being triggered and what we can do about it because that’s really the beauty about flower essences is that the essences can come in and unwind some of these triggers in us, and help us find better perspective on our emotions and allow them to flow more smoothly and easily without turning into a rage monster. So we’ll be talking about some things that could be possibly triggering, and we want to talk about some skills that you can develop to help yourself when you do feel triggered. But be gentle with yourself, as always. And if it’s a little too much, take a little break and pop back in. Ro, it’s really good to be in this space with you again.
Rochana Felde: [00:01:56] Yes, as always, this is our 70th podcast. Isn’t that amazing? And what an interesting topic. It is so appropriate for right now, for this time in our collective, and we hear that term triggered a lot these days, right? It’s not something that used to be in the common vocabulary, but it certainly is these days. And I see that it’s used both very specifically in that more traditional psychotherapy term and then also very broadly. And in some cases, some people think that we’re overusing the word. But I think part of that reason is that when people are becoming more aware of their own processes, it also seems to be a more socially acceptable way for people to say that something angered or upset them. And I know for many women, it’s not okay to say, I’m angry about something, or we didn’t grow up with it being okay to acknowledge those kinds of emotions, emit them, or be public about them. And so being triggered has become maybe a more accepted way to say that.
But also in some cases, it’s been used as a way to maybe not take responsibility for one’s emotions. And we’re going to definitely talk a little bit more about that. But what do you think about the more traditional meaning of the word in the way that it’s been used to talk about something that happens in the present that is activating a past experience, especially if it was traumatic, and we have a psychological or emotional reaction. I think that’s really what we’re dealing with when we’re dealing with trauma or PTSD or having that just sudden spark of intense emotion or a physical state, and it just prevents us from being in that present moment, and we can’t think rationally. So that’s where we can start with it and talk more about the other forms of this. What do you think?
Kathleen Aspenns: [00:04:28] I agree because what happens is when you get triggered, and we’re going to keep using that term, there’s possibly other options, but this one I think makes sense to most people at this point, the experience of feeling triggered is in some ways you could look at it as your nervous system becoming overwhelmed. You aren’t able to hold what’s happening. Everyone has different responses to this, and depending on the type of triggering or activation of your nervous system, you might be experiencing different types of nervous system states that are dysregulated, and you might be experiencing what we would term like fight or flight. Those are two real clear options.
And so all of a sudden, you’re interacting with somebody and you don’t even know what sparked them, but now all of a sudden, they’re really upset and they’re confrontational. And you’re like, what even just happened? And they might also have this flight response where they just absent themselves from the conversation. And once again, these things are very internal. And unless someone who you’re interacting with has more awareness of what’s going on inside of them, they may not even know what’s happening. They likely don’t know what’s happening, and they’re just overtaken by their nervous system and they aren’t able to be in the present. Like you said earlier, Ro, it’s this quality of being able to be in this moment and being able to hold space for it all and realize, oh, look at that. That’s coming up. I’m having a really intense experience. But the beautiful thing about essences is that they can help you develop enough spaciousness in yourself to be able to endure that flowing, that flooded emotion with enough spaciousness to hold your ground, to be able to hold your consciousness, your awareness in the moment. And it does get easier and it does get less triggery. So that’s really the beautiful thing is, we’re not talking about an imaginary world where no one ever gets triggered because that’s just not realistic. But we do want to affirm looking forward to a world where everyone’s emotions are valuable and valid, but also they are responsible for them.
Rochana Felde: [00:07:05] Absolutely. And just to reiterate, we might not know that it’s even happening. If it’s that deep, it’s like a subconscious reaction that we just do and are not conscious of it. And I’ve witnessed that quite a lot. And it’s really interesting because other people can see it, but that person can’t in those situations where it is a triggering from a past trauma or experience that is just an immediate nervous system fight or flight. The body just has to react.
I think there’s another kind of being triggered that’s less extreme. Some people call it being activated. And that might be a more appropriate term for these less intense responses. So it doesn’t necessarily tie into a past experience, but something really bothered us or sparked a physical or emotional response and we probably have some level of awareness that it’s happening and even are able to see that cause and that effect, but we might not know what to do about it or be able to stop it or might be unsure of how to work with that. And so that’s again where these flower essences come in so beautifully.
Kathleen Aspenns: [00:08:35] What you’re referring to, I think of it as like a spectrum, the spectrum of the nervous system of being able to contain a little bit, but not if it was heavily triggered. And so each one of us might have these experiences of being completely triggered and having a panic attack versus feeling a little bit upset and frustrated and not really sure exactly what’s happening. And so we don’t necessarily need to have the gigantic reaction in order to benefit from some essences because on some level, I think sometimes we think that we become identified with these experiences and our responses to them and feel like it’s some part of us that it’s just part of our personality or it’s hardwired in. And it isn’t necessarily. We can do a lot of growth around some things.
And somebody who considers themselves to be a hothead might actually not be that much of a hothead. It may be a lot of old stuff that really hasn’t processed through. And for me, that’s really the big thing about that ability to go through these experiences that do come up all the time. We’re in the world with other people or with animals sometimes, and they can push our buttons. And it seems to me that our personal work as humans, as flower essence practitioners, is to explore all of our buttons and to diffuse them as much as we possibly can. Not that we’re trying to brainwash ourselves, but we’re actually trying to release that stuff that got stuck there that time. One time, very long ago, perhaps, that you were overwhelmed and you didn’t have the capacity to experience that experience, and so you had a huge response. You had maybe fight or flight. A very lot of the time, I think you also have a freeze response. And so there’s a lot of people out there whose nervous systems are constantly in freeze, they become dissociated. There’s the freeze, and it’s almost a faint. It’s almost a loss of consciousness. You’re not even sure you’re there. You look like you’re there, but you’re not really there.
And there’s also another one. These are what we call in the TTouch system, we call them the four Fs. So it’s fight and flight, and then there’s freeze and faint, and then there’s fidget. And this is not one that I’ve heard much in the human world talking about, but when somebody is over threshold, they often try to distract themselves. So when we’re working with horses or dogs, they might get really mouthy. They might start grabbing at clothing or grabbing at things around, and they can’t stand still. And for a long time I thought, okay, well, that’s an animal-specific thing, but it’s totally not. We humans do that too, but we have the ability to compensate for our behaviors. And so we go off and we go check to see what’s in the fridge, perhaps, or we light up a cigarette, or we go and engage in some sort of distraction behavior. And that’s like you’re not able to be with that feeling that you’re having. And that is part of this whole process of feeling activated by something that we can’t deal with.
Kathleen Aspenns: [00:48:03] There is always so much more that we could talk about, and there are always so many more plants that we would love to bring in, but we also don’t want to overwhelm because we don’t know where you are. You’re not in a classroom with us. You might be driving to school or to work or taking a walk. And so we hope that you’ve enjoyed spending this little bit of time with us and talking about this pretty triggering topic. And so thanks for sticking in there. Thanks for being here all the way to the end with us. And we are really looking forward to delving really deeply into this topic, among many others, at our upcoming Flower Essence Society Practitioner Training over at Flower Essence Studies starting this month. And in that context, we go very deeply into many, many flowers to learn to be part of a practitioner kit of essences that we can all get to know well and be able to use. So if you have interest in becoming a practitioner, or maybe if you just are really interested and want to learn more and maybe don’t want to do it as a practitioner, we have people who are here for all sorts of reasons. So you are welcome, and there is still space for you if you wanted to join in. So go over to floweressencestudies.com and have a look. We’ve got that course and many others. So we really do hope that you join us over at that side. And we love sharing information and lots of little tidbits as well as really deep dives.
Rochana Felde: [00:49:42] Great discussion as always, Kathleen. Thank you everybody for listening. We really appreciate you. Take care.
Kathleen Aspenns: [00:49:56] This podcast is meant for educational and entertainment purposes only. We are not physicians and do not diagnose, prescribe, or treat medical conditions. Please consult with your own physician or healthcare practitioner regarding the suggestions and recommendations made by the hosts and guests of The Flower Essence Podcast.
